At the Beginning

Dad's Log, Earthdate 08, 08, 2009 -

I'm a little late this week due to our large double part Zoo Review. That almost killed us lol. Anyhow, I'm still unsure on how I want to go about this and I guess it's time to wing it again. The easiest is to start with Claire's birth and go forward from there. So...May 29, 2008 (picture some transitional effects as we now delve into my past...you know, like they do it on TV.)

We woke up way early with everything packed and ready to go. It was already two days past Lex's due date and we had a scheduled C-section to attend. Well Alexis's water broke as we were waking up. Perfect timing if it was going to happen at all. I'm glad it did just so that we knew that she was ready to come out.


A couple hours later we were in the delivery room and they were holding up a messy baby. I can't pinpoint my exact initial reaction to seeing her. I think my heart jumped a little and I felt a little shocked that there in front of me was our baby. (Which I still get that feeling sometimes today.) I also had a part of my mind wondering what I should be doing and feeling now. I wasn't overwhelmed as they appear to be in movies and I felt bad for not having that total joy and excitement at everything. I must say in my defence that I am not a big reactor to anything. I take unexpected events and just keep going with it as if I knew it was coming. I guess you could say I roll with the punches. But it's more than that. I feel like my mind processes everything that happens in a logical sense and it just doesn't feed my emotions. I found out that this trait was inherited from my Grandma, although I don't remember her too much, she apparently had a way of rationalizing things and moving through. So I mention this to help explain or defend myself (mainly from myself) on why I didn't react the way I'd come to expect was normal.


I do remember getting angry at the nurse though. She was doing her job, but I didn't like it one bit. Claire being delivered via c-section meant they had to keep her crying so as to expel all the liquid from her lungs (I think that's what it was.) So Claire and I were in the nursery with all the other babies and she was getting her bath and they were testing her and measuring and all that stuff, but they had to keep irritating her feet so she would continue crying and I just wanted to comfort her so bad.

I kept thinking over and over during our 4 days in the hospital that same shock at seeing her and realizing that she is part of me (a half part really.) We certainly were proud that we had the cutest baby in the hospital (and we had a scout report back to us on a pair of twins we heard were some competition...but they weren't.) The stay in the hospital wasn't bad. They had an extra bed in the room so I was able to stay the entire time. We had constant visitors which was awesome and Claire was doing well. It was also fun to walk around the halls in my pj's and slippers haha.

The first weeks are a blur. Luckily we have an enormous amount of pictures from then heh. Claire was going to sleep at about 4-6 am every day and so that's when we went to sleep. We did get lucky and got a baby that liked to sleep. She slept in our room (although never in our bed) until I think 4 months...maybe it was 2 months. But that's where I'm gonna leave it until next time.