So, I wish we had started this blog when we had Claire so that we could talk about things as they happened instead of the way I'm about to try. I'm going to attempt to go through my memory and just talk about some stuff.
If you don't know us then you may not know that we aren't yet married and that Claire was an early gift. (Nice way of saying we oopsed that one.) I have always wanted to be a father and have a family, and I couldn't have asked for anything better than my little girl. It was also a nice relief to have her now because doctor's told Alexis at one point that they aren't sure she'd be able to have kids and after she turns 30 it would be even harder. So I count myself blessed to have her and hopefully we can get married and have another in the next couple years.
Having your own child is such a life changer (I know, I know, everyone says that). You really don't realize it until you have one, but it changes how you look at almost everything. Any time I watch a movie and see a baby get kidnapped or hear about a baby being real sick or disabled it effects me in such a more emotional level. Having Claire fills me with such a bigger purpose in life and I don't even care what my situation is like as long as I am taking care of her and she grows up happy and well.
A love for your child is truly unconditional. I don't care how much of pain she can be at times (and she can be a PAIN!), I'll always miss her as soon as she goes down for a nap or I walk out the door with out her. Claire becomes more of an individual every day and I don't want to leave her in fear I'm going to miss something new she says or does. I always wondered how I'd be as a parent and if it'd be different from when I helped babysit/raise my brothers. And it is way different for me in such a good way.
I'm kind of blabbing about my overall feel on the last year and nothing in particular all at once... but I did feel it important to express to you what she means to me and how important she is in my life before I do any posts about specific events.
I'll be back next week to continue my personal logs, but you can look forward to Lex's log and another combined review later this week/week end.
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